Warning #1: Go look in the mirror. If you are wearing yoga pants (even though you’ve never done yoga) tucked into Ugh Boots, maternity clothes of any kind, or a baseball hat atop your pony-tailed hair, you’re wearing the “Mommy Uniform” and are in desperate need of a makeover. Go directly to the nearest telephone, dial one of your girlfriends who is NOT a hot mess (likely one who doesn’t have young children) and tell her she needs to take you shopping. Warning #2: There comes a time in every woman’s life when she needs to stop shopping in the Juniors Department. If you just had your first baby and you are in your mid to late thirties, there is no time like the present. This doesn’t mean you should start dressing like an old lady, but you should wear clothes that fit. There is nothing cute about a mommy bending over to hug her kid in low rider jeans and her thong underwear being exposed for the world to see. Not to mention, her muffin top!
Keeping things together through pregnancy and the baby trenches can be a juggling act. Your main concern will be squeezing in as much shut-eye as possible, not squeezing into your most fashionable pair of skinny jeans. We give new moms a two-year free pass to choose 100% comfort over style, but all good things must come to an end. At some point, for your own good, you’ll have to start making more of an effort with your appearance. It will be good for you and your husband will be relieved to see you in something other than black yoga pants and a maternity shirt. Remember, it takes just as long to throw on a pair of jeans and a cute shirt as it does to put on old sweats.
Although you may feel like a complete train wreck on the inside, you don’t have to look like one. If you can “fake it till you make it” by looking halfway decent on the outside, one day (several years from now) you’ll realize you’re actually not a train wreck anymore. Although you won’t feel any better while you’re faking it, you’ll look better, so at least you’ll have that going for you.