1. You realize the garbage pail next to your toilet is not only collecting refuse, but also urine. Huh, weird and gross!
2. You constantly run out of scotch tape, because little boys are tape gremlins.
3. You soon realize the tape is being used to make contraband. Including guns, mallets, shivs and shanks.
4. You walk around your house closing drawers and cabinets that have been mysteriously left open.
5. You’re the only person in your house that lives by the motto, “Everything has a home.”
6. Capes and weapons are considered necessary accessories for boys…Like jewelry and purses for girls.
7. Dirty dishes MAY find their way into the sink or on the counter next to the sink, but NEVER into the dishwasher.
8. You regularly find one random shoe or a pair of stinky socks sitting in the middle of the floor.
9. When you say, “Get dressed,” your little boy emerges either shirtless or in a costume. A Pull up and Spiderman stickers will also be considered, “dressed.”
10. You constantly find dirty clothes lying on the floor IN FRONT of the hamper, NEVER in the hamper. Close, but no cigar!
11. Most of your conversations will involve poop and farts, because poop and farts never get old…NEVER!
12. Capturing bugs, spiders, snakes or frogs is considered a hobby.
13. When you tell boys to “go play” with their brother, what they actually hear is, “Go beat the shit out of your brother.”
14. A stick, fork, leg or finger can turn into a weapon at any given moment.
15. Goose eggs and fat lips are considered badges of honor.
16. Trees are for climbing, beds are for jumping and Dads are for wrestling.
17. Couch cushions are not for sitting on. They are for building forts and throwing at people.
18. Superhero costumes aren’t just for Halloween (this rule applies for boys of all sizes).
19. Being dirty” is a state to be maintained, NOT cleaned up.
20. Moms are there to be cuddled and disobeyed!
21. Rain and snow are meant to be played in.
22. Rules are made to be broke and so are toys.
23. Post bath time looks like the aftermath of a Tsunami.
24. Ghetto tree forts made by Daddy are the best.
25. You open your laptop and see a Google search for “pictures of poop.” I was going to include visual proof of #25, but you get the idea!