How to know when your sex life needs an overhaul:
- You get your period more often than you get laid.
- Your only form of birth control is abstinence.
- You start referring to “doggie style” as prison sex.
- You only dole out bj’s once a decade for special occasions.
- You insist on wearing a full burka during sex to hide your post-baby body. That’s hot!
- The only hair on your body that ever gets trimmed is on your head.
- Your husband offers to pay you for a bj.
If any of the aforementioned statements refer to you, it may be time to evaluate your sex life. If you can’t even remember the last time you and your partner were together intimately, then it’s definitely been too long. When you’d rather kick your husband in the nuts than have sex with him, that’s probably the very time you need to do it. It’s the circle of life when you’re married with young children; you’re both sleep deprived and on edge, your husband does something to annoy you, you don’t want to have sex with him, he’s annoyed at you for not having sex with him, then everyone is pissed off and annoyed. Go to sleep, wake up and repeat! If you go ahead and have sex despite not even liking your husband at the time, it usually puts everyone in a better mood and resets things.
When you’re not annoyed with your husband the idea of sex is awesome. It’s just the process of having to find cute underwear and shave your legs that leads you to not want to do it. Not to mention the fact that by the time the last kid has been read their sixth book of choice, tucked in eight times, and given one last sip of water, you’re downright exhausted. The thought of having sex in lieu of lying on the couch and catching up on the “Real Housewives” seems an impossible task. We have “a friend” who has a solution for that…bj’s. Apparently bj’s don’t require cute underwear or shaving.